Finally Home

Wednesday I came home, finally. It was so good to be home even though I didn’t feel that well. Thursday I felt better. Today, Friday is still better. My chemo brain is starting to function better. My eyes are starting to focus better. My energy level is still low but improving. What did I learn though this experience? I have a long way to go. God was so good and had mercy on me by giving me a fast recovering of my blood counts so I got out  of the hospital early. I did find myself anxious at times, which shows me that I still have trouble trusting God. I have many more hoops to go through. I appreciate your prayers. Pastor Bob

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The New Me

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When I was washing my hair yesterday, handfuls of hair came out. It was just a matter of time before all of it was gone. It is much neater to get rid of it now.
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The Potter and the Clay

Jeremiah the prophet was instructed by God (Jer. 18 ESV) to go to the potter’s house. The vessel that the potter was making became spoiled, so he started over and made something else out of  the clay. Then the Word of the Lord came to Jeremiah,
“O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter has done? declares the Lord. Behold, like the clay in the potters’s hand, so are you in my hand , O house of Israel.” Jer. 18:6)

Of course, God is talking to Israel in this passage but there are principles that we can draw from this passage that apply to us. The sovereignty of God is one. What does sovereignty of God mean? That he is in charge. This is such a difficult principle for us as American Christians to grasp. Our American Christianity has embraced non-biblical principles and added them to our Christianity. This is called syncretism. One such principle was proclaimed by a high-profile Christian on national TV recently. She said “God wants me to be happy.” What does that mean? I have heard people use that as an excuse to divorce his or her spouse. So this person uses a non-biblical principle to override a biblical principle about divorce. Stupid. I’m sorry folks I have a nasty form of cancer and I don’t have time to tickle your ears. This is not true Christianity.

Try telling Paul and Silas that God wants them to be happy as they are being beaten (Acts16). Tell that to John Hus as he is burned at the stake for preaching the gospel. Tell that to Christians in the colosseum as they become the main course for a bunch of hungry lions. The Apostle John’s Revelation shows the price that is paid for following the true and living God. It could cost your life.

God is in charge. Does that mean that He wants you to be unhappy and that everything about being a Christian is painful and bad? Absolutely not!!! God wants to bless us but serving Him is not about the blessings. Many times He does bless us but we don’t realize it and we aren’t thankful. Living for God helps us to make lemon aid out of lemons. It helps us to live life to the fullest in spite of the difficulties we encounter in life. I have an abundant life whether I am in the hospital or out. It is because I have a relationship with the King of King and Lord of Lords, not because He has given me some superficial blessing.

God is in charge. He is sovereign. He wants to make something out of your life but what you can become will only happen as you give Him control of your life. There is so much more that I could say but I will stop. Let God be in charge.  Pastor Bob

 

 

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Teachable

During my devotion this morning, I noticed something in Romans 15:14 (ESV) that I never noticed before today. Paul is wrapping things up for his most comprehensive and complete book on the contents of the gospel. He has talked about the image of God and the nature of God. He has talked about sin and our sin nature. He has talked about how you actually obtain right standing with God. But this statement in Romans 15 woke me up like someone shooting a shotgun beside my head. Look what he says, “I myself am satisfied about you, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able to instruct one another.”

Stay with me now because this is important. Paul is satisfied with them because they are full of goodness. Great, that shows character change. Then he says, “Filled with all knowledge.” That is wonderful, they have the doctrine down. The part I want you to see is this, “Able to instruct one another.” This statement explains why so many Christians never get off the milk of the Word. Let me break it down.

Able to instruct.  We like this part. I was born a teacher. I can’t help it. If I know how to sharpen a pencil, I can teach you how to sharpen a pencil. I can see the potential pitfalls and problems areas in sharpening a pencil and I can teach that to someone, anyone. I just enjoy teaching. It is part of my DNA. We all like to instruct or teach to some extent. I guess it makes us feel like we know something that others don’t know. We possess a secret knowledge that others need. It can almost become Gnostic, but I digress. We need teachers in the church. People that understand the Word of God and are motivated for the right reasons to teach.

One Another. Paul continues but look at what he says. Words are so important. Paul didn’t just say he needed people able to instruct but able to instruct one another. This is where we lose people. Not only do you have to be able to instruct but you have to be able to be on the receiving end of the instruction. This is a problem.

Pastors deal with this problem all the time. This is a problem for new Christians and old Christians. What is the problem? Remaining teachable. We can become so prideful that we are unable to receive instruction from others. Paul is talking about this learning process between believers, not just pastors and congregants. We need to be able to instruct one another and to learn from each other. I understand all the implication about being prayed up and having the right attitude when you talk to sister so-and-so about gossiping, but, honestly, are you teachable? People drop out of church or go to a different church all the time because of the silliest things. We need to remain teachable and learn in our environment.

Being teachable means that you are willing to change, but before you do that you have to admit that you have made a mistake or you have a behavior that needs changing. We don’t like to admit we were wrong. Did you know that if you have not accepted the Lord Jesus Christ into your heart by the time you are around 12, statistically, the chances are slim that you ever will? Why is that? This is an American statistic and is beneficial to show us about human nature and our culture. People don’t want to admit they have lived all those years wrong. Don’t let pride keep you unteachable. Be like a sponge and receive instruction from the avenues that God sends your way. Pastor Bob

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In the “Pit” part two

You may have noticed that I missed a day of blogging. Saturday was a rough day. I got the fever and other complications. Today is better so far. My numbers have started to come up and that is a wonderful sign. I am still waiting on the most important number for today. It will tell me how my immune system is doing.

As I thought about being in the “Pit”, it dawned on me the similarities between my time in the “Pit” and Jesus’ time in the “Pit”. The Bible doesn’t say much about what happened from Friday night until Sunday morning when Jesus resurrected. Was Jesus in that place with Abraham that had a great gulf affixed between Abraham and the sinners? (Right now I wish I had a concordance with me so I could look stuff up and give the Scripture references.) Was Jesus in pain? Was He still suffering for us? With each question I try to answer I find a new one. Let’s look at what we know.

1. From Friday to Sunday was a waiting game. (Even if Jesus was preaching salvation to those around Him, He was still waiting for the resurrection and the restoration to His place in glory. I am waiting for my restoration to my former glory {5’4 & a half inches on a good day with a normal immune system}).

2. Sunday morning resurrection. (I’m waiting from my blood numbers to come back up. Even though Jesus said, “It is finished.” while on the cross, He still had to wait. Once the time was right, the grave couldn’t hold Jesus anymore. When my numbers come back up this hospital can’t hold me anymore.)

There are other things I could bring up, but let me sum it up this way. There are times that you have to wait. It is during the times that things get tough, but that is where the faith comes in and that is where you grow. If everything we wanted came quickly, we would be spoiled children of God. Happy growing. Pastor Bob

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In the “Pit”

These next few days, the medical people refer to my condition as being in the “pit.” My blood counts are down and now we just wait. Unfortunately, they expect you to get some sort of infection when you don’t have an immune system. So far so good. God is good.

I did notice something about myself that I didn’t like, however. I found myself getting irritated easily. I was irritated that I had to have an IV for awhile because it hinders my movement and keeps me from going outside. The stuff in it is keeping me alive. I should be thankful.

I was irritated that I couldn’t sleep well. The drugs mess with you. I should be thankful that I have the chance to have such wonderful medical help.

The list goes on and on. Now I choose to be thankful and not gripe. I can’t afford to go down that trail again. I hope that you will join me in thanking God for what He has done for you. Pastor Bob

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Day 10- Winter is coming!!!

This is the place that I walk when I am allowed to go outside. To the left is the U of Penn medical school and to the right is the right is the hospital. What a beautiful walk. Today was a great day. I felt tired because of some drugs but I didn’t feel bad, thanks God. Tomorrow is the day that all my blood numbers will bottom out. Then we just wait. God is in control. Pastor Bob
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Day Nine- Re-enforcements are on the way.

Yesterday was an amazing day. Early in the morning I was introduced to my new student nurse. As I got to know here, I found out that her husband and her are on-fire-for-God Christians. Praise God. Then another nursing student stopped by because she found out I was a Christians. I met a number of people throughout the day and then to cap it off, my evening nurse was a Pentecostal Christian from India. Is my God in control or what? I felt like Elijah did after he told God that he was the only one serving God and God finally told him to get back to work and “By the way, I have 7000 others that haven’t bowed to Baal.” It is so encouraging to see that others are living for God around you and close to you. We are not serving God alone.

On another note, I found out that I can go outside. So yesterday and today I took a walk outside. It was very encouraging to leave the hospital ward after a week. It was a beautiful walk around the U of Penn campus by the hospital. Praise God.

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They stabbed me again, twice. The adventures of Day 8

Ah, the adventures of this disease and all the medications needed to defeat it. My blood counts continue to fall which is expected. The platelets are high enough that I still need the blood thinners shots but the other counts are low enough that I get the Neupogen shots. So now I get stabbed twice a day even though I have a perfectly good PIC line to place medications. I think it is part of the Fraternal order of nurses that require shots be given to inflict pain on patients. Just kidding. They do a nice job. I barely even cry anymore when they give them to me.

Congrats to all those ‘tough as nail” people that have no issue with stabbing themselves with needles. I’m just not built that way. Anyway, I am taking medicines for all kinds of stuff. As mentioned, I take medicine for blood clots, to prevent viruses, a couple of anti nausea medicines, and a drug for phosphates. Doesn’t this stuff help you glow in the dark?There are about 10 more medicines.

Have you ever noticed that all drugs have to have great names? The legend of Zelda was a game. I take Zocor I think. Drugs all have to have Zs or Vs or Xs or something that makes them sound cool even thought taking them may cause bla,bla,bla (2 minutes of disclaimers). Oh well, God has been helping me. I had a good Monday and today is going to be a good day. God bless. Pastor Bob

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Eyes on the future

We are all used to planning for things. Maybe a long-awaited vacation, or rewarding yourself for accomplishing something big with, let’s say, a new car. We don’t have trouble visualizing that kind of waiting but when it comes to eternal things it is harder for us to imagine things. I guess the reason is that we don’t know anyone that has come back for heaven and said, “Wow, it was great! You have to go!”

We hear from people that have gone on vacations to Europe or the Grand Canyon and they tell us what to see and how great it was but heaven is much more difficult to quantify.

The Apostle Paul knew about as much about eternity as anyone and he made an amazing statement. “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God.” (Rom. 8:18-19)

We don’t quite know what eternity is about but we know that it is better. I am looking past this life to eternity. In fact that helps me look past this procedure to the improved life on the other side of stem cell translate. God is still here with me, even though I don’t like it here. He is here.

As a side note, it was great to Skype into my congregation today. It lifted me up. I have a wonderful congregation and they encouraged me so much. Pastor Bob

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